This Ain't Goodbye

I had to say goodbye to one of my best friends tonight. Hence why I'm up at 1am, even though I have to be up in approx. 4-5 hours to get ready for work, and I'm still sobbing and listening to depressing music.

I'm not good at saying goodbye regardless, but this was even harder. This was goodbye to a person who, though I've only known him for about a year, has been there for me without fail anytime I needed. Someone who could tell when I was having an awful day, and would try to calm me down or make me laugh. Someone who would drop everything to come to my rescue at times when I did stupid things (ie. most recently, locking my keys in my car).

I've been dreading this day since I found out a few weeks ago that he would be leaving. And not only leaving our company, but leaving our province. I was upset then, and spent many nights in the last while crying, but I figured I would be able to put on a brave face.

However, I spent the whole night at our store meeting fighting back tears. And then, afterwards when we went out for drinks for the last time with everyone, I sat trying not to cry again. So I planned it all out, I would leave his gift in my car so we could walk out together, I could cry a little in private and go back in and pretend I was ok. However, as soon as we hit the door of the bar, I started to tear up. And then I lost it completely. Full blown sobbing, tears, disgusting runny nose... And to make it worse, he lost it too. We actually stood holding each other in the rain, both crying. I've never seen him cry; it made the whole thing even worse. It's a big move for him, and I think that everything hit him at once. I think he would have been ok had I not started to cry, but alas, I'm a big suck and couldn't tough it out. So after a long bout of tears, hugs and I love you's, we had to part ways. I couldn't even stop crying to make it back into the bar. I went in sobbing like an idiot, and almost made the other girls at the table cry. I finally left and drove around for a bit before going home so I could cry loudly..lol

I'm still crying. I don't know what I'm going to do........